Friday, April 30, 2010

"Only thing we have to fear is fear itself"

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" ~~FDR.

This is the motto that I am going by as I write this. I find that I am not normally one to live by this motto. I fear fear. I do not like the unknown. Additionally, I do not like not being in control of situations especially when it deals with my family. As we (Paul and I) look into the future we realize that change is needed to have the life that we want for ourselves and our family. For me, change = fear.

I want to leave a lasting impression for my children that 'more is not better'. I feel so many of our generation live by the motto 'more IS better'. I know we have! I find that we are the 'gimme generation'. We feel that we deserve things and expect things just to happen. This is not how our parents and grandparents lived. They worked hard and saved and then enjoyed the fruits of their labor. We just enjoy the fruits of our labor and sometimes that makes things too tight. I fear that there are more people who live this lifestyle than not.

The problem with changing to the less is better philosophy is that everyone automatically jumps to conclusions that times are bad for you. That is not the case, we just want more out of life so we feel the need for a change.

Now the questions is how to implement this belief? Which luxuries do we give up and how hard will this be? How do we cut corners on groceries, fuel, and miscellaneous purchases? I keep thinking that if we keep looking and what we are currently doing, a light bulb will turn on in my head signaling what we should be doing. It hasn't happened yet, but hopefully it will. While I fear this change, I find myself fascinated and excited with the prospect.

hhhmmm.....this should be interesting...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

All About the Strouse House

I probably should have started with a few things about our household. Many of you will know this but some might not, so here goes.

It all started about 11 1/2 years a go. I met my loving~sometimes irritating (in a loving way) husband-to-be Paul. We met through our great friend Tim. We married on April 28, 2001. And here is where the journey begins.

We enjoyed a few years of childrenless freedom until January 31, 2004. That is when our girly-girl Kaitlyn Grace was born. Oh boy, I thought I was this great mom. I have this child who listens, is nice, does what she is told, no problems AT ALL! Then after a little while of trying, on September 29, 2006 our all-out boy Matthew was born. He had a few complications. He was born with a stridor (some sort of catch in his throat), a small heart murmur, and finally a club foot. The hear murmur and stridor fixed themselves, but the club foot was a long road. He is now a healthy, happy boyish boy. You can only tell the club foot if you look at it.

Now on to our newest member, Pixie. I am not sure what came over me in September, but I decided to get a puppy. Oh my, she is a Lab-Weimaraner mix. Needless to say that at 6 months old she is already 55 pounds. I fear that she is going to be a small horse! WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?!?!?!? She is a lovable but clumsy creature so she actually is a great addition to the family.

In short, this is a quick glimpse into this Strouse House.

Monday, April 12, 2010

If I don't say it enough...Thank You!

I wonder why the older I get, the harder it is to live and let live. I find when people that I am close to hurt me it takes so much longer to get over than before. Is it because I am an adult and I don’t surround myself with trivial relationships, just meaningful ones? Am I too hard on people? Do I just expect way too much from others? Maybe I don’t voice my feelings and gratitude enough.
I thought that when you age and mature, things were supposed to get easier. I thought it would be easier to let the ‘little things go’. I now realize that when feelings of any sort are not reciprocated, or perceived reciprocated, I am deeply hurt and saddened. I find that I have surrounded myself with very few people. With that being said, these people were chosen for a reason. I value their opinion, support, kindness, love, generosity, humor, and guidance. I will freely admit that I have very few people in my ‘inner circle’ of friends. They come from all walks of life. Some I have known forever and some have blessed my life just in the recent past. A few come and go continuously through my life, but I know that even if they are not present at this point in time, they would be there if needed.
I feel that I am lucky to have my few great friends. I remember a conversation I had many years back in High School. One of my ‘friends’ was always seeking more ‘friends’. She was always seeking popularity. Myself, I was pretty much middle of the road, not overly popular, but not horrendously unpopular (at least in my own mind ). I would always tell this friend that it isn’t the amount of friends you have but the quality of friends you have. I still live by this saying. I would rather have 3 go-to-girls than 100 ‘friends’.
I view myself as a person who does not define people as ‘best friend’ or ‘soul mate’. I feel that you cannot put people in little titles. I find that I have certain ‘bff’s’ for different things and different problems. I also, am not sure where my husband fits into my category (sorry honey). I hear women saying ‘my husband is my best friend’. For those who it is true~great, but there are things better talked about with girlfriends’. Now, I tell my husband most everything in my life (probably too much so sometimes) but there is nothing like good ‘girl time’.
I find myself wondering from time to time, where I fit into my friends’ lives, Do they value my friendship as I do theirs? Do I make a positive contribution in their lives? Do they realize that they can come to me anytime for anything~that I will ALWAYS be there for them? I fear that I do not make it known that I treasure everything that they bring to my life. Maybe, like most things, it is all in my mind and that I am over thinking it. Probably am =)