Tuesday, November 16, 2010


As I grow older, I have been realizing more and more that life is a succession of choices. I am where I am at not due to good luck, good fortune, but rather choices that I have made. Whether they are choices that Paul and I have made jointly~or solely, they are choices that I have had a hand in making. Our lives are what we put into them~they are what we choose make of them. If something doesn't work like I would like it to, I have to look at myself to see what hand I had in making the situation what it is. It is uncomfortable to criticize our part but if we want to learn from our mistakes, we must first realize that we have had a hand in making them before we can move past them.

With that being said, I believe that no matter where we are in life, it is where we are meant to be~our choices lead us to these places whether good or bad. There are lessons to be learned from every path that we choose. It may seem that we travel down a certain path endlessly~could it possibly be that we are traveling until we learn whatever lesson we are meant to learn?

I can only hope that I have made the best possible choices to lead me to the best possible places in my life, may it be my marriage, being a good mother, friend, or family member, or being the best possible person that I can be. At times, I find myself choosing to take a negative road. When I take this road, I always learn~rather quickly~that this is not the path that I want to take. So I backtrack and try to fix my errors. I have learned that I know I am choosing the wrong path, but sometimes I am not sure how to change the direction. I hope one day, I will automatically take the positive path. Unfortunately, it is far too easy to choose the other.

Through many hardships over the years, I have learned that sometimes the best choice is to let it go~the decisions that you can't see the answers to~let God take over. It is extremely hard to do, but when I finally do, the feeling that He is taking over, caring for me, guiding me, and watching out for me is so comforting that it is overwhelming. Maybe my lesson to still be learned is to relinquish my 'control' and let God lead me to the best choices for me and my family.

So, each day, I wake up and ask for guidance to be the person I wish to be and to take the paths that will lead me to where I want to go. Give me the strength to choose the right and generally more difficult path so I can learn to be a better person, mother, wife, and friend. I feel that this will undoubtedly be a life-long journey that I will struggle with many days ahead, but I know that in the end, I will be where I am meant to be.

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